You might be an actuary if

1.You hear a joke on Monday and start laughing about on tuesday.
2.You would rather be completely wrong than approximately right.
3.You like to have fun....only when nobody is watching.
4.You are so dull,the accountants notice.
5.When asked by a beautiful woman for your phone number you give her the no.,plus or minus 10%.
6.You concluded you are popular because you talked to someone

Actuarial joke

A guy walks into a butcher's shop looking for something for his dinner. Sitting in the refrigerator are two piles of what looks like brains. The customer turns to the butcher and says to him "What are these in the refrigerator?"
The butcher replies that the plate on the left contains accountants brains, which he is selling for $1 a pound and the other contains actuaries brains which he will sell for 10 cents a pound.
The customer is quite surprised at hearing that actuaries brains were so cheap, as he always thought actuaries were highly intellegent people, so he asked the butcher about the discrepancy.
The butcher replies "Yeah, but have you any idea how hard it is to find accountants brains?"

Actuarial pickup lines

 1. My love for you is endless, like a perpetuity.
2.. Since the first time I saw you, my interest in you has compounded continuously.
3.. I love the way your hairline emulates the p.d.f. of the Gamma distribution.
4.. If you put 5 red, 4 yellow, and 3 green balls in an urn, what's the probability of you coming home with me tonight?
5.Of course I won't tell anyone. I'm like the exponential distribution, I have the memoryless property.

Source-www.actuarialjokes.com